Power Tool: Commitment vs Obligation

I have created this power tool since focusing and practicing this concept has changed my life in very profound ways. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend  and entrepreneur, I play many important roles and have many priorities. Prior to having three wonderful children it was easy to maintain plentiful friendships and pursue many different interests without regard to whether my activities took energy away from my life, or added fulfillment to my life. I had time to care for myself, and if I was giving power, energy, or time to the “wrong” people, places, or things, it went unnoticed. Transitioning to motherhood changed all of that completely. My world seemed to expand exponentially and be under a microscope all at the same time. I no longer had the energy or interest in giving up my precious hours to friendships and activities that depleted me. I began to look at my life in terms of what felt like an obligation vs. what I was truly committed to.

In my work with clients who are at a turning point this concept empowers and enables my clients to lead lives filled with possibility and growth, instead of a life feeling downtrodden and burdened. This concept  allows my clients to engage in exercises and assessments that will help them streamline their lives, so that everything in their life is something they are committed to. Changing their perspective from obligation to commitment engages them to look at problems and struggles as merely challenges that will be overcome with effort and diligence.

Here is a quick comparison between operating from a Commitment mindset vs. an Obligation mindset:

When I work with clients who are in transition, our work often begins with looking at how they got where they are now. By using this power tool, I can help them see that they have the power to eliminate obligations from their lives and lead lives filled only with the people and activities they are completely committed to. Some questions I may ask during coaching are:

  • What are you tolerating?

  • How does this serve you?

  • How is this working for you?

  • If you had free choice, what would you do?

  • What options can you create?

  • Where do you give your power away? To Whom? When?

  • Is what you are doing right now life-affirming or life-numbing?

  • What are your wants vs. musts?

  • What does__________ cost you?

  • What are your choices?

  • Who is your “everybody”?

  • What will happen if you don’t do this?

  • Where are you not being realistic?